Oct 26, 2017 - Anyway, in honor of this coming appearance of The Momoa, I sat down to watch 2011's Conan the Barbarian, a remake of the classic Arnold.
![Watch Conan The Barbarian 2011 Watch Conan The Barbarian 2011](/uploads/1/2/5/6/125624500/781696459.jpg)
Quotes first lines: In between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the Sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world. Then, came the dark empire of Acheron, where cruel Necromacers sought 'Secrets Of Resurrection'. They crafted a mask from the bones of kings, and awakened it's wrath with the pure blood of their daughters. The mask summoned spirits of unspeakable evil, giving them power that no mortal man should posses.: Acheron. I've just picked myself up off the floor, after rolling around in hysterics at the pretentious, self-serving waffle that characterized several of the user reviews that I read here.
I'd hate to think any reader believed that negative bilge and skipped the movie as a result. I read the efforts of a film student who seriously suggested that the director undertake a movie-making university course so that he might gain as much knowledge and skill as the reviewer himself. Then another egocentric reviewer challenged every input from editing, to CGI, to - wait for it - 'fight scenes that lack the kinetic quality of a dance'!! It actually claimed that! Another lectured the director on lighting.
Some would-be scribes seem to think it's all about THEM. I cannot understand how reviewers seem to feel an obligation to be mean-spirited and attack the director and cast - as if their opinions form some self-evident truth. For myself, Marcus Nispel's film is far superior to the '80s releases.
The dark and stony/sandy sets are great, the bleak landscapes very well-adapted from the texts, the savagery of the age grasped, the pace and transitions spot on, characters are well delineated and differentiated, and the spirit of Robert E. Howard's writing captured and respected. Howard's Conan is a man of 'gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth' - with both aspects, rather than unrelieved brooding - and Nispel gets this balance right. The environment itself effects this, even though the only occasions with some color are brief glimpses of ocean blue and forest green. At this time in his life, Conan is a young man. He is not the world-weary King of Aquilonia.
He is a wanderer among ruined landscapes where killing is the way of things. The taverns and castles are presented exactly as they should be. The characters - thieves, mercenaries, pirates, sorcerers, comely wenches and harlots - are well-crafted and believable if you understand Howard's world (and even if you don't). I could watch 'Conan the Barbarian' several more times and, each time, gain more insights to how well the movie works. Don't accept my word for it; watch the movie yourselves. And if you genuinely love and enjoy film, be generous to it.
On the other hand, if you agonize over some obscure technical concept that some professor wept over in class, do yourself the favor of getting an enema and then some sleep.
The most legendary Barbarian of all time is back. Having thrived and evolved for eight consecutive decades in the public imagination- in prose and graphics, on the big screen and small, in games and properties of all kinds- Conan's exploits in the Hyborian Age now come alive like never before in a colossal action-adventure film. A quest that begins as a personal vendetta for the fierce Cimmerian warrior soon turns into an epic battle against hulking rivals, horrific monsters, and impossible odds, as Conan realizes he is the only hope of saving the great nations of Hyboria from an encroaching reign of supernatural evil. Rent $3.99. Buy $9.99. The most legendary Barbarian of all time is back. Having thrived and evolved for eight consecutive decades in the public imagination- in prose and graphics, on the big screen and small, in games and properties of all kinds- Conan's exploits in the Hyborian Age now come alive like never before in a colossal action-adventure film. A quest that begins as a personal vendetta for the fierce Cimmerian warrior soon turns into an epic battle against hulking rivals, horrific monsters, and impossible odds, as Conan realizes he is the only hope of saving the great nations of Hyboria from an encroaching reign of supernatural evil.
Rent $3.99. Buy $9.99 View in iTunes.